13. My Children's Laughter

The best part of any day and a prescription for sadness is my children's laughter. Deplorably, the most authentic laughter from my boys is produced after a burp or fart, but today I heard it when Tom was teaching Travis a hand song that his dad taught him. 

Pat 'a cake, pat 'a cake baker's man,

Roll 'em, roll 'em fast as you can,

Put 'em in the fire, put 'em in the fire,

Gobble 'em all up.

Last year for Mother's Day, Tom bought me a recorder and recorded the boys laughing on it. I'm convinced Tom had as much fun evoking the laughter as the boys did in creating it. 

12. Sweet New Babies

I held my niece today. When I picked her up from her car seat she stayed asleep. She smelled like sweet baby and dirty diaper mixed together in a fragrance you should be able to buy at the department store counter. She was smaller than any one of my children. And yet. She seemed hearty for a newborn.

She slept the entire time I held her and when I returned her to her carrier she squirmed a little and her mom said it was time for her to eat. It felt natural to hold an infant, I felt confident but remembered the first time I held my daughter. I remember thinking what do I do with this crying baby when they laid my firstborn on my stomach; who will take care of her? And yet.

There was a part of me that wanted another baby to add to my three. A big part of me wanted to have another one right now before my youngest gets too old and an even bigger part of me knows that what is best is to focus on being a great mom to the three I already have. So, the gratitude for me is that I get to enjoy a sweet new baby without having a sweet new baby and her name is Alora.

11. His Love

My Savior's Love, shines like the sun with perfect light,

As from above, it breaks thru clouds of strife.

Lighting our way, it leads us back into his sight,

Where we may stay, to share eternal life.

Growing up I learned that when I misbehaved or disappointed my mom (which was a lot), I was unlovable. This is something I don't want to pass on to my children. I believe God's love, the Savior's love is perfect, unconditional, all around. 

Tonight I was angry because my 3 year old had peed in his underwear for the 3rd time. Maybe the frustration was because I'd just finished the laundry (is laundry ever really done) or maybe it was because I was moody and tired. As I looked in his eyes and disapprovingly asked him, "WHY!!?? Why?!!"

He slouched down against the wall and folded his arms on his bent knees and rested his head on his arms, "I've had a bad day." I shifted and realized that he was just having a bad day and he deserved love. The kind of love I wouldn't have gotten when I was his age. 

For the first time ever, I gathered him up in my arms and brought him where the rest of the family was. Then, I invited everyone to come group hug him to let him know how much he was loved. My husband reached out a hand and patted his back, "I'll give him a love pat." My daughter crowded around me seemingly embarrassed by the gesture. Matthew willing joined the circle. Their hesitation was good feedback for me, reminding me how I was showing up as my own mother. 

When I feel unloved, this is what I'll do from now on. Surround myself with everyone that loves me, so they can channel God's love bringing healing. I will do this anytime, anywhere and teach my family to do the same. Doing this as a family will fortify us and will allow us to glorify God. Isn't that why we are here? To remember God's love and to share it? 

10. Bath

Bath time to me is a state of soothing peace, freedom of the mind from annoyance, tranquility, relief of responsibilities, physical comfort, and supreme contentment. I just had one. My feet are wrinkled and my hair still damp as I'm typing this.

Initially I wanted to write something that I was grateful for each day for a full year, but I lost the time daily to more pressing household appointments. In my perfect attempt to create this blog, I fell fast to being absolute and failing so I didn't even try. Maybe I should have named it 52 instead of 365.

This is great feedback for me and a reflection of my life. I aim with judgement, choke the throttle, miss the mark, and finish...always finish. 

I'm grateful for baths, for water, warm water. And even though this bath I have now is plainly not the elegant baths I used to satisfy, I am grateful still the same. 

9. Tom

I wanted to save this one until at least some time later in the year. The goal is to write about 365 DIFFERENT things I'm grateful for. Although this will be easy for me, I'm sure I'll want to write more about Tom later in the year. 

Here are Tom's greatest things in random order including but not limited to:

1. Telepathic /adj/ Although he claims he can't read minds, I disagree. On my most busy, hectic, chaotic days, Tom just so conveniently is there taking one thing after another off my plate. (Theoretically speaking that is; he doesn't touch my plate at dinner until I'm finished.)

2. Forgiving /adj/ Tom still chases me around the house after 3 children and months and months of no exercising. Although that's not my worst trait, he has a talent of overlooking my many peculiarities and loving me furthermore.

3. Deliberate /adj/ Tom is a romantic at heart and enjoys giving gifts marked by full consciousness and careful consideration. My favorite so far is Valentine's Day 3 years ago. Because I prefer this holiday to all the others, Tom gives it extra attention. He planned a scavenger hunt type adventure that began with a pedicure and ended with a bike ride along the beach and lunch with him. But even more than his gestures of romance, I love when he goes to the grocery store with my requests and comes home with the 3 extra items I forgot.

4. Visionary /n/ I appreciate Tom's idealistic views and unusually keen foresight. In fact, Tom's motto in life is 'Moving Forward'. Having had a rigid childhood allows me to easily identify this trait in him.  And although I sometimes resist his ways of being, he is my exact opposite and we therefore are perfectly symmetrical.

5. Chivalrous /adj/ brave, courageous, noble, faithful, devoted, Tom. I know this about Tom because he would vanquish by superior force all enemy to bring me a diet coke on a thirsty day, and he has. 

6. Clever /adj/ Do you know times when you laugh so hard your body convulses and aches in places you suddenly realize exist? You definitely would if you were married to Tom.  From hilarious Barbie names to hysterical practical jokes, my favorite times with Tom include our comical episodes. 

Maybe I'll start a blog just about Tom, I could go on and on for days. Probably because it takes me days to write each one of these. Words flow easier when the space around me is quiet. So, I'm just going to add to this post as it will,  allowing it to become a welcoming station for me to frequent when I'm so grateful and loving Tom and when I get to remember his greatness. 

8. Microfiber Blankets

I shut my book signaling I was ready to close my eyes for the night. Tom turned toward me to say the last few words before we drifted into subconscious. Usually we talk of spiritual things, triumphs, goals, or daily resolutions to misunderstandings. Tonight I felt depressed, maybe I wanted to fight with him over nothing really, just fight to make sure I was still alive.

Realizing my state of mind and instead of saying anything negative, I said, "I'm a wet blanket tonight." He started laughing, which made me laugh and I shifted my mind upward out of the dark oblivion it was heading. 

Although it seems like a small thing, I'm grateful for warm, soft blankets. Not wet ones, awkward, cold, and anything but comfortable. My daughter is sleeping on the couch tonight because she saw a spider in her room. (She's 11 and I guess she hasn't reasoned that spiders crawl on couches too.) She took my favorite blanket. It's tan and microfiber and soft and it matches my decor. 

The pink blanket above was tucked away in the closet. I love the pink microfiber blanket, but it's pink and goes against the color scheme in the master bedroom. Tonight when I opened the cupboard above the closet and unzipped the plastic around this blanket I felt gratitude that I have multiple soft, warm, comfortable blankets. 

Some people don't even have one nice, soft blanket. As I rested my head on the pillow and smiled my prayer of thanks, I realized how blessed I am to sleep in a soft bed with soft blankets and soft pillows. Sigh! 

7. Book Club

Even though it's been a bit since my last post, I am grateful for many, many things lately. My fresh appreciation is Book Club. I went to our book club last night http://redondobc.blogspot.com (thanks Karalea). If you love blog hopping, please stop by. 

Last month we read Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton and met at Melissa's house to discuss. Although I didn't quite finish the book (yet), being around beautiful women is gratifying. Here's what I enjoy most:

1. Food: Not only do these women provide refreshments, but the food is usually impressionistic in its delivery. And of course, there is always something sweet. Hmm.

2. Friendship: I've actually been to only 2 book club meetings so far, but both times I am enriched as I engage with different people. Last night I enjoyed talking with Susan and Kelly, and I met Lorraine (officially). 

3. Words: Embracing the words in each book I read is so rewarding; listening to the 'words' used by brilliant, talented, creative, clever, intelligent, humorous women is too. And I love to laugh.