30. My Song

Maybe I should have waited until #35 to write this one because I'm 35 years old now. Maybe I could come up with 35 reasons why I love to be me. 

This is my song to sing. No one else can sing it for me. I can sing it loud or soft, high or low, I can sing it fast or slow.

1. Brown Hair

2. Brown Eyes

3. Short Toes

4. Great teeth

5. Strong Knees

6. Faith

7. Love

8. Math

9. Singing

10. Piano playing

11. Puzzles

12. Giving

13. Creativity

14. Computers

15. Dance

16. Reading

17. Yoga

18. Confidence

19. Testimony

20. Psychology

21. Visualization

22. Philosophy

23. Healing

24. Rebound

25. Efficient

26. Hard Working

27. Smart

28. Frugal

29. Funny

30. Understanding

31. Accepting

32. Honest

33. Nurturing

34. Sports

35. Open

For everything it's worth; I am grateful I'm here singing.

29. Everything about where I live

My house is old. Our street is a go-to street for commuters and school taxiing, so it's constantly buzzing. My daughter has to sacrifice flying to visit her dad often missing school events and a partial social life here and there. 

But I recognize that I live in heaven and love it. My tasks revolve around my children, and I get to do them in the perfect weather every day. Although I love small towns and grew up in one, and I live in a town with more than 200,000 people, the community here feels like a small town to me. 

At school, soccer, baseball, church, I find everyone familiar and friendly. I am also finding I am happier day in and day out. I want to settle here. Commit to doing whatever it takes to stay and live in this piece of heaven. Not necessarily this house, but a house on this street or the street down the street.

Maybe Dave will move here to be near Makayla and share this beautiful place with us. Maybe the universe says YES.

28. Valentine's Day

The first Valentine's Day I remember was in the 2nd grade, and I've loved this holiday ever since. We took 2 HUGE hearts and pasted them together to form an envelope to receive our valentines from our friends the next day. 

I vaguely remember caring more about the valentine's from boys. 

Conversational hearts are my favorite, well all of them except the hot white ones. Right after Christmas, the stores line up the boxes of conversational hearts next to the red heart boxes filled with chocolate and my heart leaps for joy.

But what I love most about Valentine's Day is all the love being expressed through candy, chocolate, flowers, poems, cards, valentines, hugs, romantic dinners, a smile. 

I'm grateful for all the love I feel around me this Valentine's Day. 

27. Spiritual Talks with Matthew

Driving in the car to drop off some checks at the bank, Matthew started asking me questions about my mom. 

I brought him home after the class art project because his nose was profusely running and irritating his upper lip.

Travis and Makayla were both at school, so we were sort of on a date. 

Matt: Were you sad when your mom died.

Me: Yes, I cried a lot.

Matt: Did you cry where ever you went?

Me: Well, if I was going to the bank I wasn't crying because I was busy at the bank. If I was home and thinking about her, I would cry; and sometimes now I cry when I think about missing her. 

You know, my mom knows more than me  so sometimes I wish I could call her up and ask her questions.(simultaneously questioning in my mind if I don't need her advise once I'm 42)

(This was also a reminder to him that I am supposed to be smarter than he is, which I know he wasn't buying)

The woman at the teller window looked down at Matthew and called him handsome and said he looked like me. Then she said she sensed we would always be close. Strange and yet it wasn't.

Matt: (as we were leaving) Don't forget, your mom has the force now.

Me: Oh, ya. That's right, she does.

Matt: She is all around.

Me: Do you see her?

Matt: Yes. Every day. 

Me: What is she like?

Matt: She is upset right now.

Me: Why is she upset?

Matt: She misses you.

26. Rain

I love rain and I love the ocean even more; maybe it suits me to classify my love for all types of water. 

But especially now, I love the rain. The rain to me means renewal, a blessing from above, faith in the natural and abundant cycle of water. It also means money. 

Abundance is my birthright, and rain brings money in abundance for our family. Rain also means food, shelter, comfort, peace, and freedom. 

I stood in the middle of the street last Friday night at Makayla's Birthday Party as 7 girls screamed and ran up and down the gutter with flowing water as it poured down from above. It was cold and I was unprotected from the wet. 

Part of me wanted to go inside and get warm, another part of me wanted to run and scream too. I regret not running. And yet, I know, more rain will come. Bring on the rain.