53. Mothers

I'm behind on being grateful and on updating this gratitude blog. And so, I've found a gratitude deficit is the sequel to a deficit of compassion and patience and especially acceptance.

A lesson taught by my mother:

Problem: Selfishness

Solution: Be in Service

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I've not always been thankful for Mother's Day.

[insert picture of my mother once retrieved by my sister]

Right after my mom died, I resisted the thought of a day to celebrate her leaving me. I was sad going to church and listening to the children sing to their mothers. I don't remember, but I probably healed when my daughter was born and all of a sudden Mother's Day became all about me and no longer about my mom.

Now, Mother's Day is about my mom again or at least about the absence of her. I figure if I can't celebrate with my own mother, I ought to honor all the moms in my life who deserve recognition for being examples of courage and faithfulness and compassion and beauty.

And service.

52. Me

I often find comparing myself to someone else useless. Especially because I compare my worst self, which makes for poor competition anyway.

I turned 36 today. Friday night my family took me to Elephant Bar for dinner where I indulged in batter fried shrimp and chocolate brownie.

Saturday we had a girl's night out with Karalea, Mandy, Amy, Peggy, Cari, April, Shannon, and new friend, Kirsten. We ate at the Red Fort Indian Cuisine with Bollywood on a wall sized screen followed by rock and bowling. We danced and laughed playing skittles bowling...

green=hop on 1 foot

red=through the legs backwards

blue=sitting and push with feet

orange=left hand

yellow=closed eyes

brown=your choice

We used M&Ms though, which seemed to make things so much more wild, like when we danced in the lane, made weird yoga poses, and ended with jazz hands.

And then Sunday morning, I jumped out of the covers as soon as they came in with my parfait breakfast singing my song. All of them...even Travis. They each had presents and Tom made me an honor board in honor of me and my talents.

And so, on a day like my birthday there was no time for comparing or biased competition...just time to celebrate.

51. Valentine's Day

In honor of Valentine's Day, Travis and I arranged the memory cards in the shape of a heart. This is my favorite holiday and not because I get showered with chocolate and flowers and gifts of pampering...although those things are nice.

Valentine's Day is the day I feel free to show love to everyone without having to have a reason because that's all I see around me. I also see people around me who can't see it and that makes me sad.

I attended a funeral of a friend last week. She died at 39 of cancer leaving her 4 year old son and husband behind. The husband spoke of his wife during the memorial. He told jokes and honored his sweetheart the best way he could. He almost made it through sharing without shedding one tear drop until he looked up and saw and felt the love of everyone in that very room. Everyone bearing his burden and mourning right along with him...he felt that human connection only available through His perfect love.

And that is exactly why I love LOVE. It has the power to dissolve fear, rejection, sadness, loneliness, hate, and even loss. In this very room, is quite enough love for one like me, all of us, and all the world.

50. People Playing Their Parts

Tom and I were married in 2001 and immediately moved into an apartment in Las Vegas, which counts the first time we moved. Then we moved 6 more times to get to this immediate place with these immediate friends.

Maybe some people can live in one place their whole life and learn what it is they are here to learn. For me, I get to share in the flavor of many different places and people.

After having just returned from my very first girls' overnighter, I am grateful to share LIFE with these women. Because of their light and power and creativeness, my heart is also light, power and creativity. Because they shine, I rejoice in joy and abundant kindness.

Thank you for playing your role in my LIFE with me at this TIME.

49. Gratitude Boards

This is the first night of our 2009 Gratitude Board. Travis is finally old enough to write his gratitude; sometimes in letters and sometimes in pictures. 

Tom started the board with "FAMILY". My favorite for Matthew so far is "my family and my life", and Travis' first post was "TOYS". I might put that I'm thankful Makayla's post was "ME!", as in herself, even though I would never even think to write that for myself.

There are no rules about duplicating someone else's gratefulness, so I put "family" as my first, followed by music and the ocean. 

This picture was actually taken a day after we started the board with our Thankfulness kickoff in family home evening. And, I'm already liking Travis' drawings...the arrow at the top. He says he is thankful for "arrows". And so it is.

48. Healthy Food

I suppose I never knew I wouldn't be able to eat whatever I wanted forever. And no one talks about exercise being vital for vitality, and yet, it is. 

Three weeks ago I started a body cleanse removing sugar, caffeine, soda, artificial sweeteners, eggs, gluten, dairy, nightshade vegetables, nuts, and corn from my diet. After the first 7 days, I introduced a food group for 3 days to determine any allergies. 

I thought for sure I was allergic to corn because of a mild stomach ache. Yesterday was gluten Tuesday, and I introduced gluten back into my diet. I am reconsidering the corn allergy. I think it was nothing compared to heartburn, headache, stomach ache, nausea, and extreme moodiness from the bread I ate. 

I'm not giving up on my love affair with bread, but am holding out for possible candida problems and only having issues with yeast and sugar for the time being. 

And yet, the gratitude I felt today was after I went to Trader Joes for groceries and I filled my home with delicious, healthy food without preservatives, refined white sugar, or chemicals. I can be satisfied eating a healthier lifestyle without missing out on the foods that damage the cells in my body. 

I felt content. Even vital. 

47. Travis' Flower Offerings

Parenting. This week at my worst, I felt like a failure. Trust me when I say getting a job would have been both beneficial to me and them.

And a far better option than... 

Thankfully, Travis picked me a flower from the pot outside our front door and saved me my embarrassment.  It's a rare occurrence; to have a flower in the pot that is.  He always picks it for me if one's there. 

And that's what keeps me from running outside with cash when the gypsies pass by.

It's also what keeps me watering that ugly plant.